I don't mean to elicit any sympathy, but I did want to share a selection of songs that seem to help with the grieving process, for me at least. I searched through my song library to find five songs that coincided with the Kübler-Ross Model for dealing with loss, as most people know it: "The Five Stages." After about an hour of finding the perfect songs for each step, these are the songs I picked. Many of them are heavier in sound, as I find myself somewhere in between the anger and bargaining stages. I hope this may one day help you, thanks.
1. Denial: "Baraga Embankment" by Bear vs. Shark (Terrorhawk; 2005)
As soon as the first piano key is struck, an instant sense of doubt is instilled. The song detail loneliness left to brood in a community where the sufferer is seen in sharp negative light. Bear vs. Shark is my favorite band to recommend to people, hoping they will feel the same connection as I do; they have provided me with one of the most intimate ties to a band I have ever felt. If I could summarize this song with one statement, it would be "Oh no, not me." Denial seems juvenile at first, eventually evolving into a separate reality in itself. The rich imagery portrayed in lyrics such as "The kids were pushing their fingers in tarmac, the pavement / The lightening was breathing in faces" creates a surreal picture, an alternate reality's grappling with the extraordinary, all in the split second of a lightening strike.
2. Anger: "Against the Tide" by The Homefront (Sacrifice; 2007)
3. Bargaining: "Marked" by EMA (Past Life Martyred Saints; 2011)
4. Depression: "Replica" by Oneohtrix Point Never (Replica; 2011)
5. Acceptance: "I Am Extraordinary" by Blacklisted (No One Deserved to Be Here More Than Me; 2009)
With my catharsis blinding most of the above writing, I hope someone can make sense of this. When everything is said and done with my grandfather, what comes next? My parents have recently become grandparents, creating a new generation in my family. Getting older has its advantages, but they come at the cost of the people responsible for your existence. It's impossible to close out this passage with something conclusive or concrete, so I'll try my best to leave with some dignity. I am only one person, and I love my grandfather very much; whatever happens from now on out is going to happen no matter what level of my own interference.